False Starts
I have to address the irony that occurred as I began writing this post. As you can see, the title is "False Starts." On my first go I tried to upload the image and everything froze up. So I had to start over again.
I am writing this on a Monday morning, which many people consider to be the start of the week.
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I took about a 30 minute break; dodging work (false start). I fired up my snapchat (geradforte) and one of my daily contacts sent a picture of herself, fake on the verge of tears with the caption, Monday...Back to work.
I felt a little sad that she regards the activity occupies a huge chunk of her time, attention, and energy with such dread. Even sadder as I realized this it the reality for most people. We need cycles and rhythms in our lives so to help us make sense of things. But this "false" start of the week on Monday is clearly a broken concept.
I have opted out of it personally (though not in a particularly healthy way...I generally work everyday). But as a result of my always on schedule, here is another false start for you...I need a nap before I can finish this.
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It's like seven hours later as I am wrapping this post. I swear it was not my intent to have this thing be so choppy. I didn't set out to make a concept piece about false starts but that is what this has become so...let's just roll with it.
The idea that I was struggling to uncover was something about the artificial way that we chop up time and the anxiety we invite as a result. Like how the dread of Monday robs us of joy on Sunday night or has us getting obliterated on Saturday.
I honestly can't imagine living for the weekend. I can't imagine spending well over half of my waking hours emotionally checked out from the work that I am doing.
When you are watching the clock you are not fully engaged in work. All those artificial concepts that we build around time disappear when we become one with the task. You become unaware of how long something takes or the amount of effort or energy required to achieve results.
You just go.
When you are creating in the zone someone may have to pull you away from your work, kicking and screaming, to get you to stop. You can't always get in that zone, but when you get there, try to ride it out as long as you can.
I don't know the stories behind the tracks on this list, but I am familiar with the ridiculous hours spent in studio sessions, most of them fruitless. And then...a special moment happens and everything comes together almost like magic.
The ideas just spill out of you.
There are equivalent experiences in almost any type of work you can imagine. You get lost and time disappears.
You just go.
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So if I happen to spend 18 straight hours on a project, don't feel sorry for me. If I happen to work through the weekend, don't worry about me. Chances are I'm floating; my struggle, consistency and earned skill has earned me a magic carpet ride. I am dancing with the muse.
What appears to be suffering is actually pure bliss. If I invest this rare energy wisely something truly special can come of it.
Don't let the clock rob you of your chance to take that ride. You can't wait to start when inspiration strikes. You have to show up anyway. But when it does strike, even if it is "quitting time" on Friday night...
You better work.
If she is with you now (your inspiration, your muse) let this playlist serve as serenade.